I kind of just wanted to make a post reflecting on the past year. This year was basically an eye opener for me personally. I’ve learned that I should not depend on someone else to make me happy. I should not think that I need to be in some type of relationship to make me happy. My relationship with God is starting to get back to where it was before. It’s no where near where I want it to be but it’s getting somewhere. I need to find happiness within myself; being alone and being perfectly fine with it. But it is really hard when your closest friends start to get into relationships or getting engaged. It just makes you think “Is there something wrong with me?” “Why am I still single?” I’ve just come to the realization that this season that I am going through right now is the season of learning who I truly am, being happy with myself, and knowing that God is enough for me. I’ve also learned that I should stop trying to please everyone. I HATEEE confrontation with anything. I stay away from it. Things have been going on that has NOTHING to do with me, yet I put myself in the situation because I don’t want anything to change and I want things to go back to normal. I’m making a pact with myself right now that it has to stop. Even when someone is mad at me, let go and let God handle it because it is out of my control. Also, my sexuality is something I have struggled with. I’ve learned that it is okay to be attracted to the same sex but what you do beyond attraction is just up to you and you shouldn’t be ashamed that you feel that way.
In 2018, I need to demand respect and not have people walk all over me and treat me a certain way. Never change who I am just to make someone feel comfortable. The last few months of 2017 have been nothing but uncomfortableness, sadness, and just a lot of change. BUT, it needs to happen in order for me to grow as a person. But I just think its for the better. No matter how much I tried to keep that change from happening, it happened anyway. I have to trust God’s process and keep my faith in Him strong knowing that everything is and WILL be okay.
I, also, have a couple of New Year resolutions that I wanted to share with you guys.
- To eat healthier. I want to try to start eating more plant based meals and stop with the fast food because its easier. I have body goals that I am trying to achieve and eating healthy will help.
- DRINK MORE WATER.
- This goes with what I said earlier. STOP TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE. It is not your fault all the time. You can speak your peace with certain things but not everything needs a reaction.
- Go to the gym 5 days a week. I know its such a cliche goal but this time last year, I really enjoyed going to the gym and I really want to get back into it.
- Listen to podcast that have impact. I see Nelle listen to podcast all the time and I see how much of a positive change that it has had on her life.
- My last goal for 2018 is to upload on Youtube channel (whoaitskeke) at least once a week and then upload twice a week on here. Have things scheduled and not procrastinate.
Anybody who has read my blog this past year, thank you so much for the support and I hope that I continue to have your support in 2018. GET READY because there is so much more to come. 🙂
– Keyonna x